The Prince's ASAP Baby Page 12

  Even though she knew they were putting on a front, Eva had her doubts about the happy couple. Maybe he’d been lying about his feelings for Luiza. It wouldn’t be the first time. Maybe, after all this time, she was finally returning his affections.

  Eva couldn’t think of any other reason why Europe would be more pressing than being with his child. He’d promised that his baby would come first, hadn’t he? It hadn’t even been born yet, and he was already breaking that promise.

  She wasn’t even upset for herself. Well, maybe she was. She did miss him. But even if this was nothing more than a business arrangement, even if they meant nothing to one another, it was still about the baby. And he wasn’t there.

  Soon, the baby wouldn’t even be an “it.” At her next ultrasound, the doctor would try to determine gender. When that happened, it would officially become a “he” or “she.” Eva wanted to be excited. Instead, she found herself detached from her pregnancy completely.

  How could she enjoy it? There was a baby growing inside her, yes. And that was amazing. But every time she wanted to react positively, she backed off. She had no business feeling excited. It wasn’t her baby. At least, it wouldn’t be. She’d get twenty-four hours with it. And she wasn’t even sure she wanted those twenty-four hours.

  Yeah, if Filipe ever comes back.

  Why torture herself with something she couldn’t keep? She would just be tempted to change her mind, and then she would be a single mother.

  “Stop doing this to yourself,” she whispered. “You don’t have to be this miserable. You can be happy.”

  She sat down on the couch, picked up her phone, and ordered a pizza. Over the past few months, she’d taken to eating whatever she wanted. She didn’t care anymore. She was going to get bigger, anyway. Fortunately, all the food didn’t seem to be registering with her body. Not yet, at least.

  Once that was done, she dragged herself to her closet to change. She really was getting tired of living in a studio apartment. She needed more space, baby or not. Just once, she wanted to go into a separate bedroom and shut the door. Besides, her bathroom was hardly big enough for a pregnant woman. It was only going to get more uncomfortable.

  During her last appointment, her OB/GYN had suggested that Eva see a therapist. She wasn’t sure why.

  “I don’t understand,” she’d said. “Isn’t the baby healthy?”

  “Yes,” her doctor had said. “I’m not worried about the baby. I’m worried about you. You don’t seem to be attaching very well. I’ve yet to see you celebrate any milestones. You don’t really ask questions.”

  “The internet answers my questions,” Eva had countered.

  The doctor hadn’t found that funny.

  “Look,” Eva had told him. “I’m giving the baby up for adoption. I don’t see any reason to get attached to something I can’t keep.”

  “I had a feeling,” the doctor had replied. “But I still think you should see someone. Even passive mothers are more involved than this. I’m worried you might have depression.”

  Begrudgingly, Eva had agreed to go. But one session had been more than enough for her.

  “Why are you depressed?” Jenna, her therapist, had asked about fifteen minutes in.

  “Aren’t you supposed to tell me that?”

  Jenna had just shaken her head.

  “You know the answer,” she’d said. “You just don’t want to tell me.”

  Eva had thought about that for a moment.

  “You aren’t allowed to tell anyone what I’ve told you?”

  “Not unless you’ve put yourself or someone else in danger.”

  “Okay,” Eva had replied. “Here it goes.”

  She took a deep breath.

  “I slept with a prince. But, at the time, I didn’t know he was a prince. Then, when I confronted him about it, he asked me to have his baby. He offered to pay me a million dollars to sign away my parental rights. I agreed. Now, I’m pregnant, and he’s left the country. I have no idea when he’s coming back, or if he’s coming back. So, in the meantime, I’m just sitting on six hundred thousand dollars and wondering what to do with it. All the while, I can’t get attached to my baby, because I’m pretty sure I’m giving it up.”

  Jenna had just stared.

  “I’m sure you think I’m the victim of some kind of scam,” Eva had said. “I wish you were right, but you’re not. This is my life. This is my completely screwed up life. I’m not depressed. I’m just wondering when things are going to get better. Because, the thing is, I have feelings for this prince. Really strong ones. And he’s married to an awful woman. And, because his mother is dying, he won’t leave his wife—even though I think, underneath it all, he has feelings for me, too. Maybe. I guess I don’t really know that for sure.”

  The therapist had offered no reasonable advice after that. In fact, she’d said nothing at all. She’d assumed Eva had made the entire story up and had referred her to a psychosis specialist.

  There was a knock at the door. Eva, who’d changed into her footie pajamas, scuffled toward it. She signed for her pizza and shut the door behind her.

  Digging into her meal, she wondered if she’d ever be able to eat for one person again.

  She also wondered when her prince would return.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Five months into her pregnancy, Eva went to her OB/GYN to determine the gender of her baby.

  She was nervous. Not just because she cared about the result, but because she thought the news might pull Filipe from his ongoing silence—and she wasn’t sure if, at this point, she wanted him to come back anymore.

  Filipe still hadn’t gotten in contact with her. The night before her ultrasound, Eva had called and left a voicemail. It was the first time she’d said anything since the last round of ultrasound photos via email.

  “Hey,” she’d said. “Listen, your baby is five months along and you haven’t been here once. I’m going in for another ultrasound today, and I should find out the gender. If you care at all, you better call me tonight.”

  As an afterthought, she continued.

  “If I don’t hear from you by next week, I’m going to assume you aren’t coming back for it.”

  She’d hung up the phone, shoved it into her purse, and called Joseph.

  Joseph had become her only friend. Car rides with him were the things she looked forward to most. Once, she’d called him sobbing and he’d come to drive her upstate. They did nothing but drive and talk and eat food for an entire day.

  It hadn’t taken long for Joseph to guess what was going on. She’d been nervous at first, worried that she’d blown Filipe’s cover, but Joseph had assured her he would never tell a soul. Now, he was the only person she could talk to about her feelings.

  He was much older than her—at least forty-five, if not more. He had three children and a wife at home, all of whom Eva knew by name. She admired Joseph. He had his life together. Maybe you didn’t need to be rich to be successful. Maybe you just needed people to love.

  The next morning, Joseph came to pick her up, right on time.

  “Nervous?” Joseph asked as she stepped into the car. “It’s a big day.”

  Eva shrugged.

  “He didn’t answer?”

  Eva shook her head.

  “I’m sorry,” Joseph said. “It’s hard to believe that Filipe would do something like that.”

  “Five months ago, I would have thought so, too.”

  Spring was starting to bloom, now. Eva had gotten pregnant in early November. It was the fifteenth of April, and she had never been more emotionally exhausted in her life.

  “I think I’m going to leave,” she said. “He’s not coming back. I think maybe he’s fallen in love with her. With Luiza.”

  “Where are you going to go?”

  “I’m going to find a place upstate. Somewhere nice for the baby and me.”

  “Are you sure you’re ready for that kind of responsibility?”

  “I don’t have
a choice,” Eva said with a sigh. “I didn’t think he’d leave me high and dry, but he did. I guess not financially—but physically and emotionally. I’m going to have to do this alone.”

  “Are you relieved?”

  “Why would I be relieved?”

  “Well, this way, you don’t have to worry about giving your baby up.”

  “I honestly hadn’t thought about it.”

  “You must be awfully sure he isn’t coming. What if he does?”

  “Then he’ll be too late,” Eva said, being careful not to snap at Joseph. “There isn’t an excuse in the world that explains being away this long. He’s avoiding me. He’s chosen her. He doesn’t care about us anymore. He doesn’t even answer the phone.”

  “You’re going to take the money and run?”

  “Can you blame me?”

  Joseph shook his head.

  “Honestly, I can’t blame you for anything. This was his choice.”

  They pulled up to the clinic. Eva opened her car door.

  “I appreciate you being my friend, Joseph. You’re the only person I’m going to miss when I’m gone.”

  “If you move upstate, we’ll find ways to see each other,” he said. “I promise.”

  “People love to make promises they can’t keep,” Eva said with a shrug. “But I hope we do.”

  “I’ll be back for you in an hour.”

  Eva walked toward the door of the clinic as the car drove away. She felt completely and totally alone.

  The appointment was routine, at best. There were blood tests. The ultrasound showed a normal heartbeat. Over the past month, Eva had reluctantly begun to admire the process and care for the baby. She had started to identify with it. It was her child.

  That was why, now, she wasn’t sure if she wanted Filipe to come home. Could she turn off the feelings now that she’d turned them on? Could she change her mind about raising a baby when she’d already accepted the possibility?

  She didn’t think she could handle more emotional turmoil. If she fully immersed herself in being pregnant and raising a child, she wasn’t going back. She thought Filipe had a matter of days—maybe less—before she was too far gone to return.

  It was his own fault, really. If he’d been present, she never would have let herself get attached. But the constant worry about whether she’d have to raise the baby alone had brought up a series of serious questions. She’d considered the possibility at length. She’d come to terms with it. He was running out of time.

  Her doctor broke into her thoughts just long enough to make her smile.

  “It’s a girl.”

  Eva’s heart skipped a beat. She wouldn’t have openly admitted it, but she’d secretly been hoping for a girl. They could dress up together and curl their hair together. They could talk about boys and fashion. Girls were easier for her to understand. She needed that right now. If she was going to raise a child at twenty-five, she needed that desperately.

  For the rest of the afternoon, Eva felt better than she had in months. Even Joseph said she was glowing. She completely removed Filipe from her mind.

  Who needs him?

  She started looking at houses and cars. She started picking out baby clothes and blankets and accessories. She was really going to do this. She was going to make it happen.

  And then, the phone call from her doctor came.

  “Hello?” Eva said.

  “Eva Nightingale?”

  “Yes, this is her.”

  “This is Dr. Phillips from your OB/GYN office,” the woman on the phone said. “I want to talk to you about some medical anomalies we noticed in your test results.”

  The smile faded from Eva’s face. She shut her laptop and stood up from the couch.

  “What?”

  “You should probably know…”

  The voice continued, but Eva didn’t hear anything.

  What if something had gone wrong? Was she losing the baby? What was she going to do? She couldn’t tell Filipe. He never answered his phone. But he’d want to know, right? He might know what to do next. Maybe, if there was something wrong, he’d finally call her back.

  He won’t and you know it. Besides, if he does, you’ll have to give up the baby.

  Maybe that wasn’t true. They could work together and come up with a solution. She had to believe Filipe cared enough to keep his child safe, even if Eva wasn’t willing to give her up.

  Then again, maybe giving the baby up was best. Eva couldn’t even handle a medical anomaly on her own. What else would she come across that she couldn’t handle?

  “I’m sorry,” Eva said, pulling herself together. “You’re going to have to repeat that for me.”

  “Your test results showed that you aren’t getting enough nutrients in your diet. You should eat more fruits and vegetables—preferably greens. Otherwise, there’s a chance it could start to affect the baby.”

  “Oh,” Eva said. “Okay, I can do that.”

  Two minutes later, the conversation was over. But Eva was still shaken.

  With sweaty hands, she dialed Filipe’s number. Of course, it went to voicemail.

  “Filipe,” she said shakily. “You need to come back. You need to call me. There’s some kind of problem, some kind of medical anomaly.”

  Eva took a deep breath. She knew leaving the message was a mistake, but she couldn’t stop herself. What came next was a result of five months of unanswered questions.

  “Are you coming back or not? Because, at this point, I’m keeping my baby. You haven’t been here for more than half of my pregnancy. You promised she’d be important to you, and she clearly isn’t. So, if you even want to be part of this child’s life, you better get back here. Because I miss you more than I’ve ever missed anyone. More than my parents, more than my friends. I miss you, and I think I love you.”

  She stopped herself.

  “But I can’t love someone who abandons me. And I’m not going to let you raise my child that way.”

  She hung up and dropped the phone on the floor.

  “I can’t do this anymore,” she told herself.

  She wanted answers. She deserved answers. She’d never planned for any of this. She’d never wanted to be a single mother. She wanted Filipe to come home and fix everything. If he didn’t, she wasn’t sure what she would do.

  And, if he didn’t come soon, she would probably lose her temper when he finally did.

  Did I just tell him that I love him?

  Eva didn’t care anymore. Of course she loved him. She loved him, and he’d abandoned her. There was something wrong with her baby. Or, at least, there would be, if she didn’t get her act together.

  I want this to be over.

  She grabbed the television remote and threw it as hard as she could. It hit the wall across from her, leaving a crack but otherwise not doing any damage.

  I should never have agreed to this.

  Chapter Seventeen

  It was barely daylight when Eva woke up the next morning to frantic knocking at her door. She opened her eyes, still red from crying, and saw her apartment was a wreck. She hadn’t bothered cleaning for days. She’d considered hiring a maid, but didn’t really see the point. In a month or so, she’d be leaving the city. Who cared if she kept her place clean? It wasn’t like she needed her security deposit.

  Gray light filled the room. There was a tinge of pink, but it was hardly a wisp. She guessed it was maybe five o’clock in the morning.

  “What the hell?” Eva whispered.

  The knocking still hadn’t stopped. Maybe it was the landlord. Had she forgotten to send her rent check?

  No, that didn’t make sense. She was certain she’d sent it, along with a notice that she’d be leaving when her lease was up.

  Then who? It could be Marie, she supposed. Maybe Art had come home and wreaked havoc on her apartment. But, if he was going to do that, wouldn’t he have done it months ago?

  She didn’t know anyone else in the city. Maybe there was a fire. Or wo
rse, maybe her parents had finally discovered her secret. They’d come to share their disappointment in her character one last time.

  “Stop it,” she told herself. “It’s probably just one of your neighbors looking for a cup of sugar.”

  Except, she’d never been asked for a cup of sugar in her life.

  She rolled out of bed and pulled on her slippers. She snatched the robe hanging off the couch and drew it around her shoulders. She was wearing pajamas, but it wasn’t much more than a tank top and short shorts. Pregnant women had to be comfortable, right?

  Walking to the door, she wondered who in the world was so arrogant that they actually expected her to answer this early in the morning. Unless there was an emergency, no excuse was good enough. She deserved a good night’s sleep.

  “What do you want?” Eva asked, swinging the door open and slamming it against the wall.

  She felt her stomach drop. Her heart started to race.

  It was Filipe, weighed down with at least ten bags of groceries.

  “Filipe?” she asked. “What are you doing here?”

  “I should have been here a long time ago,” he said, struggling with a bouquet of flowers on top of the plastic bags. “Let me in?”

  Eva thought about saying no and slamming the door in his face.

  It had been five months, damn it. Five months and not a word since she’d gotten pregnant! Why should she listen to him? Why should she let him inside?

  Besides, now that he was back, he’d want the baby. And she wanted her baby. They’d already been through so much together.

  But seeing Filipe brought back a flood of memories. He looked pale and scared. All at once, she knew he cared. But she couldn’t understand why, if he cared, he hadn’t been there.

  There’s only one way to find out.

  Eva stepped aside and let him in.

  Filipe whizzed into the apartment, dropping the groceries on the kitchen counter and stepping over at least a dozen magazines on the way.

  “You live here?” he asked. “You can’t be doing stairs like this anymore. We need to get you moved.”